


Hunk Leads Voltron (For An Hour)

by The_Sickfic_Sideblog



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Sickfic, Vomiting, eating contest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 19:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10471899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sickfic_Sideblog/pseuds/The_Sickfic_Sideblog
Summary: Shiro and Hunk get wrangled into an eating contest.





	

They just wanted to go home.

The paladins were accustomed to there being some sort of celebration after they saved people. Sometimes there were gifts, sometimes there were parties, sometimes there were strange interpretive dances. But no matter what, the paladins were always especially careful to respect the wishes of the aliens. Shiro made a very compelling speech about making a good impression for humankind and Voltron alike.

But sometimes, these celebrations lasted for days, and while the paladins still wanted to remain respectful, some of the traditions were getting a bit...unorthodox.

“Your leader and your champion must battle for control over the metal savior!”

Shiro blinked a few times at the small alien, “Um...excuse me?”

“It is a tradition that the champion of the fight must test his ability to be the leader.”

At this point, one of the paladins might have explained that Voltron works as a team, or that they didn’t plan on changing leadership any time soon. But they all silently agreed that it would be better to go through the motions and get off the planet.

Naturally, everybody turned to look at Keith. Not only had the Red Paladin been slotted to take over Voltron if something were to happen to Shiro, but everyone agreed that he was easily the best fighter, at least in hand-to-hand. Keith shrugged and stepped forward, ready to spar with Shiro as he always did.

But the small alien leader shook his head and physically pushed Keith back into line, “No! You are not the champion! It’s the yellow human!”

Everyone turned to Hunk, who looked just as surprised, “Wait, what?!”

“Are you kidding me? I've been training with Kolivan for weeks! I’m the best fighter here by a long shot!” Keith paused, “No offense, Hunk.”

“No, man, you’re right. You’d kick my ass in an instant.”

The small alien shook his head, “But the cannon atop of the large metal savior was yellow, not red. He is the champion, and he must battle his leader for dominance of the metal savior!”

It was true. Hunk’s cannon delivered the final blow to the large creature attacking the planet, leaving large chunks of debris in the upper atmosphere. Shiro and Hunk looked at each other and shrugged. They both understood their strengths and weaknesses - Hunk was weak up close, and Shiro was strong in hand-to-hand. There was no question. Shiro would win and remain the leader of Voltron.

“Alright, Hunk,” Shiro cracked his knuckles and willed his metal arm to glow, “Put up your dukes, let’s have some fun-”

“No!” The Black Paladin had to restrain himself from drop-kicking the small creature into space, “This is not a test of strength! This is a test of endurance, a test of bravery and strong-will! A test of internal aptitude!”

Hunk blinked, “...internal aptitude?”

* * *

 

“I can’t believe Shiro has to beat Hunk in an eating contest!”

The Blue, Red, and Green paladins were still trying to gather themselves from their laughing fits. Pidge had to steady herself as she set up a camera, much to Hunk and Shiro’s dismay. Neither of them wanted to do this, but if it meant going back to the castleship, they would put up with it.

Hunk looked nervous as he was sat down at a ceremonious looking table, “Shiro? If I win, you're not actually going to have lead Voltron, right? I mean, th-that’d be ridiculous! I’m a leg!”

Shiro kept a very stern face as he looked Hunk dead in the eye, “Hunk-”

_ Oh god, he's serious...he's always so adamant about respecting alien culture, I'm gonna have to throw the competition... _

“-You'll have to  _ actually _ beat me first.”

The sternness quickly dissolved into a playful smile. Hunk felt his heart skip a few beats in relief. Maybe this would be fun. He hadn’t had an eating contest since the early days of the Garrison. Yeah, this would be just like old times!

* * *

 

This was not like old times.

Back in the Garrison, the food wasn’t particularly good. It was mass produced for a large amount of students, and only provided the nutrients needed for astronauts in training. But  _ this _ was worse.

Each bite settled like a rock in Hunk’s stomach. It filled him up unnaturally fast, fighting against his throat with every swallow. On top of that, the food wasn’t even that  _ good _ . It tasted like wallpaper dunked in sweat from the Slipperies. He watched as the spectating paladin’s expressions turned from amused to concerned and a bit disgusted. Pidge had shut the camera off long ago.

In the end, the Yellow Paladin forfeited before a winner could be declared. He could have eaten more, but the taste on his tongue left him feeling dirty like he cheated on a lover. He felt absolutely awful, stomach practically yelling at him for what he’d done. Then he looked at Shiro.

The Black Paladin was in a much worse state. His ten empty plates made Hunk’s five look pathetic. Shiro’s head rested against the table, eyes screwed shut and both arms wrapped around his middle. While the aliens around them were celebrating in delight, all the paladins were wincing.

“...Shiro?” Hunk dared to ask, but the words fought against his stomach just as the food did. But he didn’t feel nearly as bad as his competitor looked.

Shiro took a deep breath. Then another. “We’re going home.  _ Now _ .”

* * *

 

He felt like he was going to explode.

There weren’t any seatbelts in the lions’ cockpits (which there really should have been), but Shiro felt as though he had fifty of them strapped around his stomach. Every inhale was a struggle, and every exhale threatened to bring up everything he jammed down. He was convinced that the alien food had some sort of expanding property, like pancakes but so much worse.

“Alright...” he breathed, “Nice and easy, Black...I’m letting you drive...”

The Black Lion purred to life and stood up, jostling loose a pocket of air from her paladin’s throat.  _ This was a mistake. Every part of this planet was a mistake. We should’ve let them get eaten, _ Shiro thought, not even bothering to scold himself for the idea. Everything was bubbling in his stomach, poised and waiting for the perfect time to make its escape.

The moment the Black Lion jumped into the atmosphere was the moment Shiro lost absolutely everything. He easily blocked out the noises of disgust and sympathy from his paladins over the intercom - he was too busy relishing the lack of pressure on his middle.

“Hunk-  _ urp _ ...you get to lead Voltron...just until we get back to the castle.”


End file.
